


Overthinking and Overworking

by Mickey_99



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, Arthur is idiot, Fluff, Happy, M/M, Sad, TW: Eating Disorder, but - Freeform, but a lovable idiot, i save babu, inscurities, merlin is babu, we been knew
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-19
Updated: 2020-11-19
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:55:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27625733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mickey_99/pseuds/Mickey_99
Summary: Merlin overthinks, and then he overworks.
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 132





	Overthinking and Overworking

**Author's Note:**

> Again. I know it's not the best. Trying to flow back into writing.

Merlin watched as his friends clapped Arthur on the back in pride.

“I always knew you were at least half gay,” Gwaine said smiling and clapping Arthur on the back in glee,” I am proud of you for coming out, mate. It was truly brave of you. But Merlin did it two years before you did so don’t get a big head.”

Merlin laughed under his breath as Arthur pushed away Gwaine’s hands, obviously irritated by the rambunctious youth. Arthur’s eyes found Merlin before quickly skipping over Merlin and onto Gwen. Merlin’s heart sank in his chest. It had been doing that ever since Arthur had come out as bisexual. It was most likely because of the raging crush Merlin had on Arthur. Merlin’s eyes fell down to the sleeves of his shirt, and his glasses fell down his face a bit, making him bring his hands up to push them up his nose.

“Congratulations Arthur!” Gwen said smiling happily. Her face lighting up. Merlin could see why Gwen was the obvious choice over himself. She was absolutely beautiful, and she was the captain of the _fencing_ _club_. Of course, her father made fencing and sports equipment for a living so it wasn’t entirely odd that she should be amazing at, at least, one sport. Of course, the captain of the football team, Arthur Pendragon would fall for a sporty girl instead of a nerdy guy like Merlin. Even with Arthur being bisexual, Merlin stood no chance.

The group stood there in the hallway outside their classrooms for a bit longer before deciding to go in and settle into their seats. Merlin simply stood there for a moment longer, it was such a weird thing to notice just out of the blue, but suddenly his mind linked onto the fact he was the only one all the way on the other side of the school. A fact that before had meant absolutely nothing to him. But now it bothered him greatly. It felt like a rift between him and his friends. It was something he knew to be stupid, and yet it remained rooted in his thoughts.

_I’m not anything like them._

It started small. Then Merlin began to notice the moments when someone would forget to say hi to him. Or when he would be a bit later to lunch since he was further from the lunchroom, they would start eating without him. He would notice how they would all get up and leave and he would have to scramble to keep up. Then suddenly, study nights were ending in sleepovers on nights Merlin could never attend. Suddenly no one was able to stay late with Merlin to help him clean up the classroom. Merlin noticed how much they hung out together without _him_. Everything he noticed would send a pang through his chest and awful thoughts through his head.

After a few weeks of this happening. Merlin began to stop showing up at their gatherings in the hall and instead went straight to class and sat with his head rested into his arms. Merlin began skipping lunch entirely, a problem he had before meeting his friends, in order to bury himself in work and in homework. Merlin stopped showing up to the study nights and instead would study under the oak tree at his house. Merlin simply stopped being around them. And for a while they didn’t seem to notice.

“Merlin,” Gaius says one day as Merlin walks through the door. Merlin’s head is screaming in pain and his stomach aches steadily, “You look awful. Are you eating? You aren’t ignoring your body, again are you?”

Merlin smiles and gives a shaky thumbs up in response. Merlin was probably the furthest thing from alright, but he didn’t need anyone else worrying about him.

The pain felt awful. He felt like he was losing his family. Since his mother had died, it had been these guys who were his family alongside Gaius. And the feeling of losing them stung worse than Merlin had ever imagined it could.

Gaius gave Merlin a look of disbelief, “Gwen called the house today,” Gaius said crossing his arms,” She asked if you were doing okay. Said they haven’t even seen you at school recently. She was very worried.”

Merlin, meanwhile, was stuck wondering why she even cared.

“Merlin!” Merlin heard his name get shouted through the hallway, and Merlin flinched at the loud sound. His shaking hands dropped the bottle of water he had been trying to fill.

“Leon!” Merlin said covering his heart in a panic. “Don’t do that!”

“We haven’t seen you in like three weeks Merlin!” Leon says worriedly,” Where have you been.”

Merlin stares at his shoes in confusion,” I mean I have been at school,” Merlin says rubbing his neck.

Leon seems to not know what to say to this fact, because the boy stays silent. “Well why haven’t you come to hang out with us.”

“Finals,” Merlin says as confident as possible,” I have to stay as top of the class after all!”

Merlin sends one of his signature smartass smiles Leon’s way.

“We have study groups Merlin,” Leon says crossing his arms.

“And I have very loud friends,” Merlin says smirking at Leon. The word friends feels fake on Merlin’s tongue. As if he had no deserving of even using the word.

Leon and Merlin talked for a bit longer before Leon runs to class. Merlin, meanwhile, has to kneel down to clean up the water soaking the ground. He almost isn’t able to stand back up again. He should probably remember to eat.

He doesn’t. Homework came first. Diving into his work is what Merlin was good at, and without people there to keep him balanced. He tended to overdo it.

It all came to a heed on the stairs outside the school. He had stayed after school to get some work done in the library before heading home. Some teachers still floated about but for the most part, he was alone. Merlin was simply walking when the black dots fill his vision and his steps falter. His face feels flushed and his breathing quickens. He is sure he is going to fall and break his head open, and no one would even know until the next morning. That’s when a pair of arms wrap around Merlin’s waist.

“Come on now,” Merlin hears Arthur’s voice echo through his thoughts,” You and I are going to chat over a nice meal.”

Merlin begins to voice his protests, because obviously eating a full meal at this point just wasn’t an option.

“I know not to give you strong foods already dumbass,” Arthur says fondly. “Toast and an apple. And maybe some crackers for now. You forget I was hear when you did this shit the first time.”

Merlin smiles at the tone Arthur uses, it makes him feel soft and warm inside.

“Thank you,” Merlin says quietly.

“Don’t thank me for something friends do,” Arthur says gently.

Merlin hadn’t meant for it to exit his mouth, but it did,” So we are friends?”

Arthur had stopped walking to his car for a brief moment when the question was voiced. Then Arthur sighed,” Boy, do I have to get a lot through your head tonight.”

The drive to Arthur’s house was silent, Merlin’s brief meal was silent. The trip to the bedroom was silent. And then they sat there a good 30 minutes in pure silence. It was honestly maddening.

“We all love you,” Arthur says quietly,” We have all been worried about you.”

Merlin snorted in disbelief.

“Merlin why would I be waiting 3 hours after school ended if I didn’t love you.” Arthur said annoyed,” Why would I stay to make sure you were actually going to be okay if I didn’t love you.”

Merlin felt his eyes widen. Then Merlin felt a flick on his forehead. And heard a chuckle come from Arthur.

“Hell, I came out to the school just so I could ask you on a date without you feeling you had to hide it,” Arthur said. Merlin choked on air at that statement. And Arthur chuckled before leaning down and kissing Merlin on the lips briefly.

“You like me?” Merlin asked,” But I am so nerdy and boring and annoying.”

Merlin felt strong arms wrap around him. “You are the only one who has enough wit to keep up with me, I think smart is sexy, and yeah you are an annoying shit, but I guess that’s my type.”

Merlin snorted, before slapping a hand over his mouth to keep quiet.

Arthur smirked and attacked Merlin with tickles to hear Merlin laugh freely.

Come the next morning, Merlin stood by Arthur’s side. And more importantly, by his family’s side once more.

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